Part 2 of 3
The second time I welcome Dionne to the practice, 2 weeks later, she looks even more tired. It appears as if she has used up the lasts of her reserves.
At the end of the first session, we agreed to work with EMDR today, focusing on her fear of driving on the highway. She then said that her problems arose 10 years ago, after a violent incident with a small child during a work shift.
‘First, find out if there is sufficient capacity to do EMDR today,’ I think to myself.
Dionne starts to say: ‘Just a few more days of work, and then I have a vacation. I really need the time off. We are going to Italy because my friend wants to go. I don’t feel like it at all and I’m really dreading it. His promise to drive all the way doesn’t help. I am exhausted and don’t want to have to do anything. At the same time, I cannot disappoint him either’. She looks at me desperately.
I express my concerns about her well-being. Tell her that I recognize myself in how she is treating herself. That I’d been a champion in always trying to please the significant other. The result was total exhaustion. Willpower gave way to my body’s message: Stop!
While talking, Dionne realizes she really needs to take steps to take better care of herself. She intends to speak with her supervisor about working from home until her vacation. And, she is also going to postpone her plans to spend a day with her little niece, as well.
“I really want to get started with EMDR today, because I hope that I will be able to enjoy driving again,” she says.
Her strong desire finalizes my decision to work with EMDR anyway. We change positions so that I am close enough to her to guide her eye movements. I propose that she experience how the eye movements go. She keeps her head still and follows my fingers, which I move several times from left to right in front of her at eye level.
‘What I ask of you is to be open to what comes up. That’s our compass. All that matters now is that you take where your attention is going seriously. What do you perceive in your body? What emotions come to mind? Focus on your body, on your breath. Look at the experience from a distance, without doing your best to reflect the actual situation. Which image has the most weight at the moment when you look at it?’
Even before words come out, I see her body react as if she were cowering. ‘I feel tension in my jaw. It is as if my throat is closed. And, I feel nauseous’.
Not really nice to experience, but for me, a sign that her body is releasing the stored emotions. We continue with EMDR and about 10 minutes later, her body becomes visibly calmer. She breathes deeper and her face relaxes. She feels relieved, and her head feels pleasantly empty.
When she leaves the practice room cleansed, I make a few notes. ‘Against falling over. Next time check situation after EMDR ‘.
At that point, I couldn’t have imagined what the effect would be and Dionne even less. I will tell you more about it in the next blog, the last of this series of 3.
More information about how I work with EMDR can be found at www.effortlessexistence.nl .