This morning he met me again during my morning walk. His tail in the air as he quickened his pace, and I called softly, “Teun!”
Although his owner has moved, Teun has chosen to stay in his familiar environment from now on. It looks like he has a beneficial existence.
What I find so fascinating about Teun is that he does what he likes. He is completely absorbed in touch as soon as I squat next to him. He spins around me keeping contact with my thighs. He hugs my feet as drops come out of his nose. I think of pleasure. There seems to be nothing in existence other than us at this moment in time.
Then, for no apparent reason, he jumps up. It scares me because our being together ends so abruptly. He sneaks into the bushes and is very still. A little later, I hear some rustling.
And, I think to myself that I am important to him, that he could use a lot of love. Apparently, I’ve made it personal.
‘Don’t take anything personally,’ I learned from Don Miguel Ruiz. He is a shaman and is dedicated to spreading Toltec wisdom. His son wrote the book ‘The Five Insights’. To me, this book has enormous value. It brought about a big shift in me, so that I experience more peace and pleasure.
When someone else does or doesn’t do something, it is always about the other person. That’s what I learned from Ruiz’s second insight. You must continue to practice this, I note again now.
Back to Teun. It’s not about me at all when he touches his head against me. Teun does what he wants instead of adapting to what the environment expects from him. As soon as something comes along that interests him, he focuses all of his attention on it.
What would it be like if I would listen more often to what interests me? And make choices based on that?
My neighbor would be surprised if I suddenly walked away as soon as her conversation no longer interested me. A strange thing to do, right?
Honestly, sometimes I would like to be a cat. Do what I feel like doing. Only being responsible for my own well-being.
Adapting solely to myself instead of always taking all sorts of things into account. That sounds great! Will I become a selfish person? I believed that for a long time. Until Willem, my RIAGG therapist reassured me: ‘You will never become an egoist. Maybe others will see it that way, but, that says more about them.’
It has been about 30 years since Willem said this to me. It has had a huge impact. I have become a happier person and naturally care about others. Indeed, I have not become an egoist. At least, that’s how I see it myself.
I still have my challenges. I don’t find it easy to disappoint anyone. Especially when it comes to people dear to me. Yet, I am convinced that the other person is also better off if I adapt to myself. Who knows, he or she might see it as an invitation to adapt more to him or herself, as well.