January 17, 2021
Part 1 of 2
It has been over a month when I finally say to Paul, “If I were you, I would go to the physiotherapist or chiropractor. These complaints will not go away by themselves.’
‘I’ve had this before and it will go away on its own,’ he mumbles.
I know from experience that pain in your elbow usually does not go away on its own. I go a step further and try to convince him that it is important to take action when the first complaints arise. He laughs a little and repeats that he thinks this will pass by itself. ‘Don’t think I think you’re a nag, because you’re really not,’ he adds.
I frown. When he sees this, he laughs. ‘Well, maybe sometimes. But, I know you speak out of caring. ‘
In the days that follow, he repeatedly reaches for his arm. Now and then, I try to convince him that it is really important to have it looked at. Without success.
Now, Paul is someone who likes to diagnose and treat himself. I confess that his approach is often successful. Like yesterday, when he removed a splinter from his thumb with a Stanley knife.
If I happen to walk by while he’s doing it, he says enthusiastically and proudly, ‘the pus came out.’ He points to the other side of his workbench. I press my lips together when I apply the Betadine ointment a little later and put a band aid on it, but, cannot resist saying that it is really quite unhygienic to remove a splinter like this.
The next day I have to admit that his thumb looks much better.
On the internet, he has now found tips for tackling his elbow. From greasy cotton wool to a self-conceived approach, our son-in-law’s the massager. He experiments diligently.
More and more often, he reaches for his arm. For weeks, I have managed to say almost nothing more about it.
I am relieved when he tells me he has made an appointment with the chiropractor. The doctor urges him to rest his arm as much as possible and to return for follow-up treatment shortly thereafter.
The next day, he immediately goes back to work. The pain does not lessen and the follow-up appointment has been canceled because the chiropractor has to close his practice in connection with the lockdown.
When we sit quietly together at a certain point, Paul confesses that he may have listened too little to my advice. ‘I thought it would be better. To be honest, I haven’t taken your concerns about my arm that seriously. I was a bit stubborn,’ he says.
I laugh and say, ‘Just a little.’