Painful events happen to all of us
I have yet to encounter anyone who has never experienced at least one painful event.
I find it fascinating how each person reacts so differently to painful experiences. When I started my practice 20 years ago, I was amazed by this.
I remember a client who experienced one painful ordeal after another. From intense childhood experiences to a car accident with serious injuries to the loss of a child. He had never been to a psychologist for help before. His request for help: ‘I am increasingly overcome by emotions and do not know how to deal with them’.
After the second session of EMDR, a clear change was already visible. During the fifth session, he said he was fine and wanted to end our sessions.
Another client, who was also involved in a car accident with serious injuries, reacted quite differently. His life seemed to have gone fairly effortlessly. His request for help: ‘I feel so much anger inside of me because of this car accident. Sometimes, I even feel aggression toward the person who caused the accident.’
The cycle of victimhood was difficult to break. In the end, he managed to look at his painful experience from a different perspective, working through EMDR, as well. He learned to better deal with his emotions by no longer fighting against them, but by welcoming them; looking them straight in the eye. In his seventh session, he stated that he experienced more and more that life is, indeed, easier when he stops resisting reality. ‘Even though I frequently resist these emotions, I am aware of them more often, and I sometimes manage to deal with them the way you taught me.” A statement from his final session.
Painful events happen to all of us. If this prevents you from living your life to the fullest, it will haunt you over and over.
Tired of being overcome by emotions again and again?
Something can be done about it!
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An effortless existence for everyone
Too good to be true that an effortless existence is for everyone? Now, I’m not saying we only have positive experiences. On the contrary, setbacks are part of life. And for many, it is much more than a setback. They experience traumatic events time and again. However, the road to effortlessness is also available to them.
It does require constant practice, which you can also perform effortlessly.
By practicing it myself, I found that it is actually too simple for words. Very briefly, I would describe it as follows: as soon as I am aware of my resistance to what was at that time or that I’m back in my stories, the shift has already taking place.
An effortless existence is NOT that you:
- won’t face any setbacks
- are always happy and cheerful
- do not experience painful and very bad things
- expect it all to happen by itself
- control life
- do not experience strong emotions.
An effortless existence DOES mean that you:
- make an effort to practice a new way of dealing with situations and the accompanying emotions
- as much as you handle it, make physical efforts to give your body and mind an energy boost
- follow impulses from your heart
- move with effortless ease on what presents itself instead of fighting against reality
- welcome your emotions
- are willing to face your fears
- are open to experiences
- experience deep inner peace much more often.
