‘I feel sad, angry and disappointed,’ I read in the app message that Maaike sent me. ‘Without listening to me, the company doctor informed me yesterday, by telephone, that it is time to return to work. I feel taken aback and don’t know how to respond. I cry and panic all morning.’ She describes, in detail, how she has tried, in vain, to call her supervisor and ends with: ‘I just wanted to let you know. Regards, Maaike.’
After the initial meeting with clients, I always let them know that they can contact me between sessions, if they need it. A lot often happens in between our appointments, and I want to be there for them. When I followed therapy myself, I experienced that time as a loss, hence my invitation. In practice, it is not used by most clients. The idea that there is a safety net, alone, does enough.
Maaike, 25 years old, has a management position. She is a typical case of the high achiever who has demanded a lot from herself from an early age.
I am considering calling Maaike after reading her app message. Or, would it actually benefit her process if I don’t respond? Well, you never know. I decide to follow my gut and call her.
Judging from her voice, she’s full of strong emotions. She sounds gloomy and speaks monotonously while telling her story again.
‘I wonder whether I have been clear with the company doctor,’ says Maaike.
‘You probably haven’t asked yourself that question for nothing,’ I respond. Then I remind her how we talked, in the previous sessions, about expressing what is important to her. How she learned as a child to make herself invisible because of the friction between her parents. And also, because her ill brother demanded all the attention.
Maaike’s voice sounds more powerful and fuller when she says: ‘Oh, that’s the same theme again.’ She laughs. ‘Yes, I now see that, of course, I should have gone into action mode. I felt like a victim and a prosecutor at the same time. I know that so well.’
The moment Maaike looks at the situation from this new perspective, her intense emotions disappear like snow in the sun.
‘Shall we look at what you wanted to make clear to the company doctor?’ I ask her.
Without any hesitation, she expresses exactly what she wants. She is happy to get back to work, but only if a specific external company social worker supports her in this. Maaike has heard good things about her. ‘If I have to do this on my own, I will quickly go back to my old way of working. Before I know it, I’ll be back to square one,’ she says firmly. ‘Tomorrow morning, I will immediately call the company doctor. I will also tell him that I was not clear during our telephone conversation and explain that this situation is a typical example of how I ended up burned out.’
‘For now, I have learned enough again,’ says Maaike, laughing.