January 14, 2021
Part 4 of 4
‘It was good to be aware of the pain. I notice that everything has yet to fall into place,’ says Philip when we speak by phone a week after the Intense 2-day. Sunday afternoon’s line-up is still working. I immediately made a date with my father. Even though I find it nerve wracking, my approach is to open up when we see each other. I long to experience more of a connection with him.’
Then, it’s quiet on the other end of the line.
Because the final session with the constellation was so intense, I suggested we postpone the evaluation of the 2-day period. I did not want to disrupt the process that Philip was going through. Today, we would talk about this and when I ask him about it, he says: ‘I liked the variety of the program: the intensive sessions, the walks on the beach, taking a nap or relaxing. Also, I only had to worry about myself. That did me good. In my opinion, you have also tackled it adequately. Right to the point. I quickly felt at ease.’
“That’s good to hear, Philip,” I say happily.
‘It was nice to share my experiences of those two days with Mieke. I notice that I cannot put everything into words yet. I think it will take time,’ says Philip.
We go deeper into his experiences during the past days.
‘I feel inside my body that all kinds of things are still happening. That seems like a good sign. It is a challenge to create moments of silence. There are so many balls to keep in the air. Do you have any tips for that? ‘ he asks.
‘Yes, that is, of course, the big challenge for all of us. A hundred and one things distract you from the much-needed moments of silence; from daydreaming; from doing nothing. It helps me to include this in my daily schedule. Just like I eat and sleep.
For others, it works to put a notification on your digital calendar. Inspiring leaders and managers regularly sit with their feet on the desk and stare at nothing with a nice cup of coffee. They know that it is precisely then that the most creative ideas arise.
Easier said than done. It is also a challenge for me to give less priority to my action list, social media and the news than to my moments of silence. Those quiet moments of just being alone, such as daydreaming, enjoying my lunch or cappuccino I find quite nourishing. You said that you were so moved by music over the weekend. This may also be a great way for you to calm your mind.
Your sensitivity became visible during our 2-day. And, think back to all the ideas that came to you. By literally generating distance, space is made for creation. If you slow down more, you will automatically gain insight into the choices you want to make, both in your work and in your private life.’
We pay close attention to what he needs in the near future and decide to schedule a telephone appointment once a month for the time being.